Sagacious Himself — brevity in circumlocution: never blague — suffering genius

April 22, 2014

happy tire burning day! Make your carboot footprint bigger to create balance in the world. Send me your carbon points so I can win

As “good cannot exist without evil”  :snicker: some need adopt the lifestyle of offsetting your carbon offsets by having an ever growing carbon footprint.  It would be wrong to deny this lifestyle choice its legacy.

Instead of leaf burning you’ll be joining us burning all our trash.  Do you foolishly sort your trash into colored bins?  Fill the closest one, then fill the next closest one.  For best value burn plastics and slow-biodegradables first.

Demand quantum-solar energy plants.  More plants is good.  No need to return post-consumables to holes in the ground.  Digging is a waste of effort.  Burninate the waste!  No emissions: 100% professions!

Humanity a plague upon the planet?  Show YOUR love by joining the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement.

….

Don’t tolerate being persecuted for exercising your duty to keep your family warm, safe, fed, together, confident in God’s goodness,  or happy.

Send me your carbon points: I plan to win with the highest score.

I’ll provide you FREE CARBON CREDITS & FREE CARBON OFFSETS.  Optionally downloadable carbon offset certificate RSOT!  Pledge to burn some plastic and I’ll doubt your FREE CARBON CREDITS. 

Your first TRILLION CARBON OFFSETS are extra free!

In the name of farcical gaia and subjective reality I absolve you of your carbon sins.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a civil reply. We strongly recommend you always adblock the interweb. You have no right to be published here. Abuse will be redacted or transmogrified. Please refer to CONTACT page for terms, details, or special considerations such as private comments: himself.wordpress.com/contact/

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: