Sagacious Himself — brevity in circumlocution: never blague — suffering genius

July 24, 2006

we need carrot control…. and to outlaw pools and highschool football practice

Filed under: category euthanized,Concept,Gross Politix,Humor — Sagacious Himself @ 12:36 pm

“A 46-year-old man is accused of assaulting
his wife with a carrot, causing her to lose sight in one eye,” reports the
Associated Press from Monroe, Conn.:

Pamela Vecsey, 46, underwent six [hours] of surgery
after being hit in the left eye with the vegetable Saturday night, but doctors
were not able to restore her vision, prosecutor Stephanie Damiani said.

The couple was arguing when Roderick Vecsey tossed
the carrot, Damiani said.

It is a scandal that thanks to the carrot lobby,
Americans–even the mentally ill, convicted criminals and stalkers–are able to
buy these dangerous weapons without so much as a license or background check.
We need carrot control! It’s the only way to deal with crime at its roots.

 

OpinionJournal [OpinionJournal@wsj.com]

 

Both swimming pools and highschool football practice kill more people than accidental shootings.  Let’s outlaw both pools and highschool football practice.

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