Sagacious Himself — brevity in circumlocution: never blague — suffering genius

December 11, 2005

plush toys for children of sexually promiscuous parents

Filed under: category euthanized,Humor,News and Announcements — Sagacious Himself @ 4:28 pm

fuck toys

Most folks never realize how cute microbes can be when expanded 1,000,000 times and then fashioned into cuddly plush. Until now, that is. Keep one on your desktop to remind yourself that there is an "invisible" universe out there filled with very small things that can do incredible damage to much bigger things. Then go and wash your hands. Lather, rinse, repeat.

  • Acne/Pimple (Propionibacterium acnes)
    Got a blemish? Give our little fellow a big squeeze, and you're sure to feel better!
  • The Pox/Syphillis (Treponema pallidum)
    Don't let a pox end up on your house — or anyone else's house. The more you know, the better for everyone's real estate.
  • The Clap/Gonorrhea (Neisseria gonorrhoeae)
    One of the most common venereal diseases, Gonorrhea can be easily cured — or avoided. Know the risks.
  • Flesh Eating Disease (Steptococcus pyogenes)
    Caused by the same microbe responsible for strep-throats, Flesh Eating can put you on a diet — fast.
  • Bad Breath – Halitosis (Porphorymonas gingivalis)
    Oral malodor is no laughing matter. But don't give spicy foods all the credit. Microbes deserve their share of the glory, too. Make someone smile (as long as they've brushed first.)
  • Common Cold (Rhinovirus)
    Billions of people a year catch the cold. Now you can get one too — without getting sick! Learn all about the Common Cold with this cuddly companion.
  • Flu (Orthomyoxvirus)
    This guy may not look too tough, but don't let his cute looks fool you! Once he and his friends show up you're in for a pretty lousy time. Learn about his weaknesses so you can avoid unwanted encounters.
  • H.I.V.(Human Immunodeficiency Virus)
    Not cute in any sense, This plush microbe seeks to educate those about the deadly virus that destroys CD4 or T-helper cells.
  • Mono – Kissing Disease (Epstein-Barr Virus)
    A kiss is just a kiss — unless she's around! 95% of the population has encountered this sweetie pie. Just think of all the fun you can have giving Mono to somebody without all the medical complications!
  • Sore Throat (Streptococcus)
    No one likes having a sore throat, unless it's a Giantmicrobe! Find out what makes Streptococcus bacteria more than just your average sore throat virus.
  • Stomach Ache(Shigella)
    Having a stomach ache can be loads of fun … if it's a Giantmicrobe, of course! (And this one will tell you how to keep his friends away.)
  • Ulcer(Helicobater pylori)
    Guess what? Stress doesn't cause ulcers — microbes do! But we guarantee that this little guy will give your most stressed out pal a laugh.
  • Beer Yeast(Saccharomyces cerevisiae)
    Come and get it! This microbe is a baker, and a brewer — and a scientist to boot. Pretty amazing! Learn about the secrets to its success.
  • Ebola(Ebola Virus)
    Since its discovery in 1976, Ebola has become the T. Rex of microbes. Share the love!
  • BookWorm(Anobium punctatum)
    Do you have a favorite bookworm? We do! And our book-lover is sure to interest just about any bibliophile.

Each 5-7 inch plush microbe comes with a instructional card that includes an actual picture of the microbe along with information about the microbe in its natural environment.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/6708/

mommy was a whore

daddy was a whoremonger

now you have an STD too!

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